Just shoot me

Here's a run-down of the past two days:

Monday
Ben promises to see me after school.
Decides at the end of the day to go to gym instead.
I plan to commit suicide, Justin interferes. I am grateful.

Tuesday
I go to school. Ben texts me during period 3 and tells me to stay away from him because he doesn't care anymore.
I sit alone at recess listening to my iPod.
Ben sits next to me resulting in a panic attack. I scream, push him on his back and kick him in the head/neck area.
I run to the train tracks and stand on them waiting for a train.
Courtney sees me and runs to me stopping me from harming or killing myself.
My mother picks me up and takes me home. I have a panic attack because Ben hadn't contacted me. I hyperventilate and pass out in my bed.
I am taken to see a doctor who makes an appointment with a psychiatrist in Albert Park so that I can be prescribed anti-depressants. The appointment is next Thursday.

Wednesday
My mum tells me to stay home from school. I have not heard from Ben since I kicked him.
I watch television until I have a flashback followed by a seizure. I pass out. I wake up and have a panic attack and run away from home. My dad calls my mum who finds me dirty in a bush two streets from my home.
I am taken to hospital as I am too afraid to go home.
I hyperventilate and attempt to strangle myself.
I am now under constant supervision.

I am on 4th suicide attempt, a 5th will have me entered in a psychiatric ward until I am 18. I don't know what to do. I'm so alone. Ben wishes me dead. I can't believe it.
My life has been turned upside down.

What can I do?