Fliegst du weg, Mädchen

We shed a tear as we bid Sam farewell. She is somewhere far away now, having fun I hope. The airport was a funeral parlour for teenage girls, huddled together to wish their friend a wonderful trip. It really was as though someone had died. Seeing their faces in such agony forced a tear or two out of me - it was hard to cry knowing that in just over a month I would be in Germany with her, but I still did.

Goodbyes flew and heartstrings ached as we watched Sam leave, all alone, tears streaking down her face while her parents looked on in opaque concern. It’s rare to see people so openly... existent. Emotions are so often hidden in today’s life that I often wonder if we are just robotic beings, inhabiting this earth as the aftermath of man’s technological destruction; completely oblivious to who and what we really are. But then I see something that reminds me of what it is that makes us human – the tears shed, the laughter – for once everything isn’t hollowed out from the inside. It’s in those brief few moments I accept that we aren’t just shells. I no longer think of men as walking wooden figures… maybe there really is something more than what’s skin-deep, and my perception of all people as termite-filled corpses is false.

Maybe I’m the only monster.

But I saw something else that day - laughter. As they cried, one laughed. His mouth wide and his eyes shining, all emotion set free as Ben watched his sister walk out of the departure lounge. Is this a monster, like me? Or is this a cover up? Such maniacal bliss, I could never quite understand – maybe I’m still learning how to be empty… because my tears were real.