My Secret Story - Part I

A surge of panic rose in the pit of my stomach, bubbling over and mixing with a white hot anger I hadn’t felt since…

I struck out, hitting his arms, chest, face, anything I could do to get his hands off of my chest. He groped and squeezed, trying not to laugh as he played his sick game. Carey lay twisting on the floor, covered in his own vomit and groaning in his fruitless effort to get up and help me, save me. One hard grasp shot a sensation of pain rushing from my right breast into the rest of my body. My eyes went wide and I let out a high pitched yelp.

“Oliver, stop!” I thrashed underneath him, his heavy body constricting my legs and stomach. Considering the great deal of pressure on my internal organs, my rapid breathing and shaking were probably not the best idea, but the human body acts on its own accord and right now it seemed mine wanted very badly to escape.

My stomach and chest felt crushed and he was still staring down at me, that huge grin on his face and I knew in that moment that even nothing He had ever done to me had been this bad; He had never laughed. And He had never even forced it on me, had always ensured that it was right, for both of us, and of course it always was with Him. I loved Him more than life itself and would give up anything to hear Him tell me that He felt the same. I was sure that He had loved me now, even though I had always been a suspicious partner and had questioned His motives in the relationship to no end. But now He was gone and I had bigger things to worry about – no pun intended.

Oliver was a tall, pale and flabby boy of 16 with clumsy, stubby hands and a waistline that stretched about 2 foot across, a real showpiece of Australian youth. He had blonde hair, which he attributed to his Swedish decent, and seemed to either be suffering a long-running rivalry with genetic facial craters or, maybe, too much chocolate. His weight was too much even for my usually strong body to handle; I gave up and let my arms fall in hapless repose by my sides. There was no use struggling against his massive power, and so I decided to spare myself the pain and humiliation. I closed my eyes and tried not to think of the terrible things that were happening to me, but the brush of a tongue over my left nipple sent me into a terror-induced seizure, my entire body shuddering and vibrating under the giant like a child’s toy gone berserk.

His dark brown eyes met mine and I saw in them the unmistakable, taunting excitement that I could hadn’t encountered since He had been in my life. I’d watched it in His eyes as he anally raped from the front, when he’d slammed my head into the wall and when he had gently pressed his pocket knife into my sternum. But there was still love in His eyes, and I knew that He cared for me a great deal, despite His inability to act accordingly.

My mind fluttered back to the present and to Oliver’s oafish body on top of mine, and without hesitation shut down into a blackness that swept over my entire body. My eyes rolled into the back of my head in one quick, final spasm and my body went completely limp.

And for a little while I didn’t think anything at all.

My Secret Story - Epilogue

Tap, tap. Hello neighbour. Tap, tap, tap.

There was something in His eyes that told me He was the one. He felt the same things I felt, thought the same way I thought. He was special and I was almost certain that He knew it. He was by any count nothing special to look at, but for some peculiar reason I took a detached liking to his appearance. The nameless ‘He’ was a good 20 kilograms overweight with pale, speckled skin that was host to a variety of interesting scars and blemishes; putting His arm through a glass panel as a young boy, jumping from a tree, cutting His throat in my bed; all the happy times shown in an array of bumpy, pallid imperfections that begged the question:

Why on earth do you love Him, Elysha?

What do you see in His plain brown eyes that makes them seem so shiny, or in His dirty black hair that you find so attractive? What could it possibly be, that you find so completely and utterly indispensable about Him?

And consequently I would learn a great deal about what it was that I found so essential about Him. It was a connection that took a full 2 and a half years to break, and when it did I was left completely helpless, a miserable lump of flesh without purpose or direction.

And so it began.

I'm back

I'm back after my writing hiatus in Germany and I come bearing all sorts of new experiences to babble about. This is just a short blog to let you all know I didn't get locked in the laundry and suffocate.

Au revoir.

Los Angeles is burning

"A placard reads "the end of days", Jacaranda boughs are bending in the haze, more a question than a curse; how could hell be any worse? The flames are stunning, the camera's running, so take warning: when the hills of Los Angeles are burning, palm trees are candles in the murder wind - so many lives are on the breeze, even the stars are ill at ease, and Los Angeles is burning." - Bad Religion

Brum brum

Today the Watsonia Motor Show was held, featuring live music and of course, cars, vintage and new. People, young and old, swarmed to see the shiniest and most prized vehicles pull into their display spaces, engines roaring at a deafening volume.

There were definitely some beauties there, I took over 200 photos (even of the police cars, ambulance and taxis). Some of my favourites were the 1927 Ford Roadster, the Firebug Volkswagen Beetle, the "Astro Boy" (as I call it) and the "Neat" Ford XC.

The good weather seemed to yield more than just glittering cars, as the streets filled with Banyule's retro/rockabilly inspired auto enthusiasts. In all directions, the small shopping district was painted with high heels, full-circle skirts and plenty of tattoos.


Draw 4 were playing as well, which was a lovely treat. Have a nice day.

Knusperhäuschen

Hallo allerseits!

Today I finished my German gingerbread house or "little nibble cabin" as directly translated. I think it came out okay, it's still drying with the help of egg carton supports as the roof is over 3kg alone. It is rather tall, just over 30cm in height. It even comes complete with icicles hanging from the roof and marshmallow support poles.

Tonight is my last Thursday night in Australia. This time next week I'll be sleeping in Korea. I'm insanely nervous and excited.


Gute Nacht.

Thursday's the day

November 20 is the 324th day of the year (325th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar, leaving 41 days remaining until the end of the year.

On the 20th of November, 1820, an 80-ton sperm whale attacks the Essex, a whaling ship from Nantucket, inspiring Herman Melville's 1851 novel Moby-Dick.
On the 20th of November, 1945, the Nuremberg trials against Nazi war criminals begin at the Palace of Justice.
On the 20th of November, 1985, Microsoft Windows 1.0 is released.
On the 20th of November 1972, NASA had a press conference after making contact with what was believed to be extra-terrestrial life (on the X-Files).
And on the 20th of November, 2008, the Macleod College Germany Study Tour will set off across the world for five weeks.

Being Wednesday the 12th today, tomorrow night will be my last Thursday night in Australia. Friday will be my first day in another country in over 5,700 days. Can you believe it? I wonder if Mulder and Scully are household names in Germany...

Also just a note of congratulations to Polak who is back training with the Tigers today after being hit by a tram 5 months ago. He is still suffering from results of the accident such as memory loss and is not expected to play next year.

Nighty night.